Saturday, April 30, 2016

Not worth celebrating.

This day always brings me down.

Another year older and still not where I want to be in life.

Growing up, I'd dream of drawing and painting and writing for a living. Being successful at it and traveling the world because of it.

I'm not even close to having that. At all.

I have to work all the time, I'm worn out every day, and more often than not, I'm unhappy.

So turning 37 today doesn't seem all that exciting to me.

I decided to go home to my family because I didn't want to be alone today.

My mom had gotten me a cake and even though I don't celebrate my birthdays, I see the importance of it to my family, so I fake a smile here and there and go with the flow. It'll be over soon enough.

One day I hope to have a life worth celebrating. 

Happy Birthday anyway, dear Dean.


naturgesetz said...

By all means, Happy Birthday anyway (and belatedly in my case), dear Dean.

Perhaps you'll never gain the international fame of a very few artists, but your artwork is good. I hope you'll be able to find the time to do more.

Meanwhile, as long as you're doing the sort of thing which gets you nominations like the one you've just posted about, you're living a good life.

carlnepa said...

Here's what you have to do. I set my internet age about 10 years younger than my real age. So for years I was 39. People noticed but didn't know how old I really am. I jumped it up to 45 for another couple of years. Now, it's 47. I also told people that people who were younger than I am are older than me. That sets it in their head than I'm younger than I really am and it really pisses off the people I say are older than me. It's a two fer.
Oh, a little "just for men" helps every couple of weeks, too. Last, you have to have a sense of humor about aging because it is inevitable. People say I look great for my age and I always respond that it's due to the right mix of drugs and alcohol.
You're on the right path, Dean. Every life is worth celebrating. You never know what's coming down the road at you and until you do know you have to make the best of what you've got, starting with yourself. My boss hogs all the credit for everything so I *never* get recognition or nominated for anything. Since I plan to retire soon, what difference does it make now? You've received something I never have and never will working here. I think that's a big deal.

Dean Grey said...


Thank you for always being a fan of my artwork!



I'm not one for lying about my age, even in jest, and especially not on the internet.

Haven't you ever encountered someone you met online that lied about their age or looks, only for you to be disappointed when finally meeting them in person? I know I have. I'd hate to do that to somebody else.


I appreciate you both commenting here!


carlnepa said...

Since I'm happily married to my husbear, my age thing is harmless. It's actually a joke among friends and coworkers. I check Craigslist occasionally just to see if I know anyone and I never do because we don't travel in those circles. I go to GAY.COM occasionally to try the chat and log off as disappointed as ever. Ditto for IRC - now there's a hint how old I am. I am happy with my flip phone so that leaves out Grindr, Gruntr, Scrufr, Fluffr or whatever.
I'm just having fun with it and I hurt no one, even the people I say are older than I am when they're not. I don't change their age, I just manipulate my relationship to it and I'm honest about it. hehehehehehehehe
You are right about people who try to deceive people, though.
As it turns out, my attempt to cheer you up about your birthday was totally eclipsed by a vase of flowers. That's very nice, indeed!!!

Dean Grey said...


But why be on those sites to begin with if you're already in a relationship with someone?

And I don't have a smart phone either. My old flip phone gets the job done just fine.



stanw said...

Happy Birthday, Dean! (I late in sending these wishes).

I see you did go home to your family and then back home to flowers, lovely bouquet it sure is. I agree about the colours!

Take good care and may your 37th year be brighter and your load lighter.


Dean Grey said...


Thank you, sir!