Sunday, June 29, 2014

No sense of Pride.

I always have mixed feelings about today.

Today is the last Sunday of June, which means the Gay Pride Parade was this afternoon…but I decided not to go.

I don't like crowds, hot weather, or being burned alive by the intense summer sun and all three were out in full force.

And part of me feels like I don't fit in there…and that's a very lonely feeling.

When you don't belong to your own community, where do you belong?

I've heard several people say "Happy Pride!" throughout the day but I'm not feeling much happiness at the moment.


Randuwa said...

Dean, my L'il Bro', I get where you're coming from so precisely.

I'm no fan of crowds or the heat. But I am a member of--if not a community--a tribe. It's OUR TRIBE, dude.

We are members of a fraternity that includes so many martyrs (Matthew Shepard, David Kato, Harvey Milk), it pains my heart deeply to start there. And if all I told you was this, then pain would be our only portion, but we don't stop there. We are creatures of great creativity (some might even say, Genius): Michelangelo, Alan Turing; we are men of bravery & passion: Alexander-the-Great, Stephen Snyder-Hill; and loyalty and camaraderie: Daniel Choi and Daniel Henderson. We are--like you!--artists: John SInger Sargent, Francis Bacon, Beauford Delaney, Charles Demuth, David Hockney, Marsden Hartley; we take kick ass pictures!: Tom Bianchi, Adi Nes, Horst P. Horst, Robert Mapplethorpe; we write beautiful Novels: Truman Capote, James Baldwin, Bernard Cooper, and E. M. Forster. Our symphonies are world renowned! Thank you, Tchaikovsky, Copland Menotti, and Barber. We act the Hell out of the whole world of Theater, TV & Films--From Errol Flynn to Rock Hudson, and current gems like, Zachary Quinto, Jim Parsons, Jonathan Groff, Chris Colfer, and Neil Patrick Harris. Talk finance? Now you're talking Tim Cook (CEO of Apple), Robert Hanson (CEO of American Eagle Outfitters), Chris Hughes (Co-Founder of Facebook). You get the picture, right? Even if you don't go down to a parade--you have more than enough to be proud to be a member of OUR TRIBE.

You can turn in any direction or pick any subject and land on a role model or ancestor of note. Poetry? I give you Walt Whitman, Essex Hemphil, Justin Chin, Ocean Vuong, Frank O'Hara, Alan Ginsberg, Timothy Liu, Joel Derfner.

My beloved friend, there are more reasons to be proud of our gift of homosexuality than all the haters around us could ever hope to counter with their lies of doom and woe. Skip the crowds, but feel the PRIDE!

Sonnia J. Kemmer said...

I'm sorry that you feel that way. I support the pride movement, but I haven't actually joined any parade for it. You don't really need to be active or join a group just to be a part of it. If in your heart you are proud of who you are, then you are what it is. I hope that makes sense. Celebrate each day, not just every June. That's my two cents.


Dean Grey said...


Whoa, Randy!

When you put it like that, how can I not be proud?

Thanks for such an amazing comment!



I like the notion of being proud not just on one specific day at the end of June but every day instead.


I appreciate the both of you chiming in here!


Michelle said...

Standing ovation to the commenters above, and to you, Dean!

Dean Grey said...


*Takes a bow*


Unknown said...

I came out (finally) in 2012 and went to the Pride festivals in Greensboro and Winston Salem. I helped staff the booths for our gay men's chorus. I drove to Durham for NC's largest pride celebration but did not feel like staying since I was by myself. It is hard being in a county where you have to drive an hour or two to meet other gay people. That is one reason why I am moving.

Dean Grey said...


I know how that is, being part of a celebration yet feeling alone at the same time.

Hopefully you'll make amazing friends once you move.