Friday, May 9, 2014


It really is a waste of my time.

These men and the games they play.

I went on a few dates with someone new during these past couple weeks. He had potential but I guess he didn't think the same of me.

During one of our discussions, he mentioned two of his exes. He referred to them as "husband-quality" (and implied I was too). But he said neither of them was willing to wait for him to let his walls down and they eventually moved on.

This was the first time I've heard a gay man use that term. Husband-quality.

How ironic that I never really heard from him since.

Will I ever find someone who is "husband-quality"?

I've met very few, if any, gay men interested in getting married let alone wanting children.

It saddens me that I may never get married and have a family of my own one day.

I have not given up hope just yet but don't expect much from the gay community anymore either.

In the meantime, I'll continue searching for "husband-quality".


David K Small, artist said...

I call them Keepers. Guys in Chicago need to open their eyes and see You. It's amazing how blind people can be.

Dean Grey said...


No, that's just it, their eyes ARE open--they just don't like what they see.


David K Small, artist said...

I wonder if they are shown the Dean we see here or if you are different in person. Here you are very expressive, easy to see.

Dean Grey said...


I have no clue how others perceive me in person.

But I have been told I appear friendly and that I smile a lot.

I'm probably more on the quiet side with people I don't know but that still doesn't explain being passed over or going unnoticed as often as I have here in this city.

*shrugs shoulders*


bK said...

I don't have a lot of dating experience, but I definitely had a similar experience as you described. I see this guy as still being attached, at least emotionally, to his exes. Although you are husband-quality, he can very well be the total opposite of husband-quality.

Wait... I recall you mentioning that you work at a university. Are you able to access free counselling at the university? I advocate counselling to everyone maybe because of what I research in neuroscience. Anywho, maybe you can get a specialist's perspective on how to improve your mood (totally not a trivial exercise) and radiate all your awesome qualities to the people you meet.

Dean Grey said...


Hmmm, I honestly don't know if the university I work at offers free counseling to staff.

I have gone to a few therapy sessions in the past but didn't care for them or the concept in general.

Thanks for the suggestion though, Brody!