Wednesday, May 29, 2013

At peace.

Imagine no more yearning, disappointment, or suffering.

My, my--what that must be like.

While walking through the city in between jobs the other day, I saw a fallen sparrow on the sidewalk. I lightly nudged it with my shoe, making sure it wasn't still alive.

And then again yesterday, I stumbled upon this dead pigeon on my way to work.....

Were the birds better off now that they were dead?

Never having to struggle anymore, or find their way in the world, or to meet a good partner. That death was their freedom from the harshness of life.

On those days when I'm overworked and sad and feeling alone, how I'd give anything to be done with it all...and finally be at peace.


Mind Of Mine said...

What if it wasn't the end. What if the struggle just continued somewhere else?

Dean said...

I'm having a very difficult year with pain, surgery, and meds. Several times recently I've wished I was dead.

I went to a former co-worker's retirement reception. I was her boss almost 15 years ago. She told me a few weeks earlier that I was her best and most helpful boss. Another person pulled me aside and said she enjoyed reading my blog and was happy and proud for me that I had come out. So, there are two people who think their world is better because they know me.

I think my world and the world of your blog readers is better because of you. I hope you can feel our digital hugs. We love you.

Jules said...


ultragreen said...

There's no point wishing for the Grim Reaper, Dean, as he will come soon enough like a thief in the night.

On another topic: Do you ever visit any of the nature parks in the Chicago area? Some of them are quite beautiful and unique. And then you have the Chicago Botanical Garden and Morton Arboretum.

Nicholas said...

The birds aren't free, they're simply not alive. Not being alive is very different from not having to live. And not being alive means missing out on all those things, small and big, that we enjoy in life, even if there doesn't seem much to enjoy at the moment. Many hugs for you.

Dean Grey said...

Mind Of Mine!

We'll never know for sure, Ian.



I'm sorry this year has been so difficult for you as well.

Here's some digital hugs back at you!




Thank you!



I haven't been to the Chicago Botanic Garden in over five years but that's mainly because it's so far away.

I live on the far south side of Chicago and would have to take two trains, then walk for about a half hour to get there.

It is VERY beautiful there though.

And yes, I do frequent the other city parks when I have the free time (and when it's not sunny out!).



That's a different way of looking at it.


I appreciate everyone's support during this time!


naturgesetz said...

I was away when you posted this. I'll say I think Ian and Nicholas make good points. Hang in there, kid.

Dean Grey said...



I'm hanging in there as best I can!


Unknown said...

That's me in the second comment above. Interesting to come back and see what was going on two years ago.

Dean Grey said...


Thank you for your comment then and now!