Thursday, February 21, 2013

I hope it changes.

"Gotta shake myself up here
I should run away, run away, run away
People say don't even go near
I can see the danger, I'm aware, I see the danger

If I go back once again it's like I learned nothing
I'm standing at the front of a queue
Heading for trouble

Hope it changes
Hope my life changes
Gets alright somehow
Oh I'm waiting for tomorrow

I hope it changes
Can't just stay the same
Been out of luck for so long
And don't I get much so there's nothing much to lose."

I think I'd kill myself if I stayed here much longer.

Ever since returning from my trips out there, Chicago just doesn't look the same to me. It's not, well, Seattle. I feel like I've outgrown my home city and need to experience elsewhere.

New opportunities. New people. A new life. A better life.

A chance to be free...and happy.

I was contacted yet again by that same Seattle city department as last time and will be going on a job interview this Friday. It's an entry-level position but it might be my only way of getting in there. 

I fly out for four days, my flight leaving later this morning.

It's been 2 1/2 months since I was there last. There's this fear and anxiety and excitement in me. And I'm worried the feelings for Seattle won't be there like they have in the past. Only one way to find out.

This could change EVERYTHING.

"It's like a record going round
Yes, it's going round, going round, going round
I know I should wanna take it off
But I find hard, why do I find it hard?

I used to have a vision 
I was sitting somewhere up there
Looking down on myself
Doing right for once in my life

It changes
Hope my life changes
Gets alright somehow
Oh I'm waiting for tomorrow

I hope it changes
Can't just stay the same
Been out of luck for so long
And I don't get much so there's nothing much to lose."


naturgesetz said...

Good luck, Dean.

JuJu said...

Good luck with the interview. You are ready to go. Take the leap!

Mona Diane Conner said...

Good luck Dean!!! All the best for your Seattle trip. I have a good feeling about it.

Nicholas said...

I think you need to leave Chicago. You need to be on your own, and have that reward of self-worth that comes from being completely your own boss.

And, dear God, please don't kill yourself. I'd snatch you up as a boyfriend in a minute. Maybe more. And as long as you have things like that to look forward to in life or assure you, you've got reasons to live. Of course, enjoying your art, etc. are also reasons to live. :)

Dean Grey said...


Thank you!



I'm taking the leap!



I have a good feeling about it too!



Leaving Chicago and being on my own would help tremendously.


Everyone's encouraging comments are greatly appreciated!


Anonymous said...

Hi Dean, I've been following your blog for awhile. Good luck with your move to Seattle. I did it a few :) years ago and never looked back.
I work for a City HR Department and here's a bit of friendly advice for your interview. Be sure you answer each question as completely as possible. It's likely they'll only be rating you on what you actually say in the interview and there may not be a lot of back and forth conversation at this stage, so don't assume they know anything about you from reviewing your resume or that they will ask follow-up questions... they may not. Just lay it all out there and don't be afraid to be too complete.
You'll do great.
Good luck!

Mind Of Mine said...

Do it, you know me Dean, I am all over you making this change. It could be just what you need!

Dean Grey said...


I'm very familiar with city department interviews and know they like detailed answers.

Looking back, I tried to be as complete as possible but felt a couple questions could've been answered a bit more thoroughly.


We'll see what happens.


Mind Of Mine!

So agreeing with you, Ian!


Thanks to the pair of you!