Saturday, September 15, 2012

For rent.

I couldn't figure out why I was getting so upset.

Maybe it's because I was out in the BRIGHT afternoon sun for two hours or hadn't eaten lunch and was tired.

Surely it shouldn't be that frustrating.

I went apartment hunting yesterday. Not at the actual insides but just the addresses of several buildings. To see if I even wanted to live there, what the locations where like, and what I could afford.

At times I felt very awkward and anxious--like I didn't fit in, even though the neighborhood seemed like a nice place to live. It was all so new to me.

And even though I want to be on my own, away from my family, that day I just wanted to go home and cry--where it was familiar.

Certainly if I contemplated leaving for another state, I should be able to handle moving to a different part of a city I lived in my whole life, right?

Searching out locations and gathering information is a solid start. At least I'm making the attempt.

If I'm not allowed to be free in Seattle then I will be free in Chicago...or die trying.

To be continued (hopefully sooner than later).....


naturgesetz said...

My mother wanted to move for years before she found the right place to move to. She wasn't looking very hard. Just every now and then, she'd look at a place.

It won't take you years because you'll be looking harder than she was, but the point is that since you already have somewhere to live, you don't have to settle for something that really isn't quite right. It's kind of like your job situation: you can stay where you are until you find something better.

Even moving across town can be emotionally wrenching when it means leaving your long time home, so feeling like crying is natural enough, even though it's something you want.

As you say, this is a solid start. Good luck in finding something suitable.

Michelle said...

Good luck! Having your own space is so liberating.

stanw said...

I hope the search gets easier. Seeing the insides will make a difference I am sure. Cheering for you in all this. Stay Strong!

Randuwa said...

Dean, Sweet Man, you will find your place and when you do, you will know it perfectly.

Rebecca said...

aw honey I hope the apartment hunting gets better i'm sure you will find the right place for you. sending you love and light

Come Say HI

Dean Grey said...


You're right. I can be choosy since I currently have a place to live.

I'm being selective but ideally want someplace spacious, safe, and close to public transportation.



I'm sure it is!



Seeing the insides will be the next step!



I hope so, sir!



I'll take all the love and light I can get!


Thanks to everyone for chiming in here!


Ken Riches said...

When you find the right place, you will just know.

Dean Grey said...


I guess I'll have to trust my instincts then.