Two years.

I wanted to leave as soon as I arrived.

Unfortunately I've been working there ever since.

I couldn't help but feel sad today. Today marks my two-year anniversary working at the arts-and-crafts store.

My God. Two years of my life given to that place.

When I first started, there were around 40 people. So many either left, were "infractioned out", or got fired.

Now there's only 8 "veterans" left. Everybody else started after me.

Such constant and high turnover is scary. I've seen so many managers and staff come and go and be replaced...only to happen all over again.

The name badge I wear to work everyday!

Retail can bring out the WORST in people and I swore I'd only quit when I found something else to replace it with. So far I haven't had much luck.

But thankfully I've become close to many of my coworkers and interacting with them on a daily basis helps make the job less miserable.

So for now I'm stuck at the crafts store but can't wait until the day comes when I can finally be done there!

Dean Facts!

Oh you knew it was coming from the title of this post.

Little bits of info from the world of Dean. 

Things you never knew about me...until now!

It's that time again. Time for "Dean Facts!"

Here. We. Go!

• As a child, I had a goldfish named Ryan that lived for three years. One day I was feeling lazy and didn't change his water...he died later that night! Ugh! I still feel guilty about that.


• As soon as I change my blog profile picture I immediately want to change it again.


• I grew up in a violent home and there's still reminders of it in that house.


• My lunch periods as a sophomore and junior in high school were spent in the school library due to not having any friends. I was resourceful enough to forge the teacher's signature on the library pass every day for two years without anyone knowing.


• I consider my drawing room sacred and NEVER eat in that space, only drinking water while I work in there.


• Whenever I bake, I always alter the recipe in some way to make it my own.


• In 7th and 8th grade, I'd cry myself to sleep every night while listening to Queen on my headphones.


• Not only do I organize my money by denomination but within each denomination I sort every bill by its condition. (OCD, anyone?).

Hopefully that explains a thing or two about myself. If not, there's always next time!

See you all then!

Not meant to be.....

My mom said if it's meant to be then it's meant to be.

While I believe that, I question how much control I have over the situation.

After almost four weeks of waiting, I finally heard back from HR this weekend regarding the position I interviewed for late last month in Seattle.

I wasn't picked.

*heavy sigh*

I will keep looking and applying though.

On the bright side, I have a couple interviews here in Chicago so that's something.

One of my student workers at my university job gave me this lucky bamboo plant for good luck with the potential jobs.

Thank you, Theresa!

Yet I can't help but wonder if I should become further ingrained in my home city and just let the dream die.

Of starting over somewhere new.

To be free.

To be happy.

Perhaps it's not meant to be.

Wordless Wednesday - Buckingham Fountain in the rain

Losing Sujin.....

She'd always ask how you were doing before anything else.

Supportive, nurturing, and caring, I considered her the mother-hen of our store.

Her contributions were quite noticeable so I'm not surprised she's being sent elsewhere. 

One of our managers at the crafts store is being transferred to a different store to help boost the department she specializes in.

And I found out she was leaving just three days ago...with today being her last day.

This marks the third manager we've lost in a four-month period. I guess nothing stays the same in retail.

*sigh*

It'll be challenging for her but I KNOW she'll whip the other store into tip-top shape.

She's a wonderful lady. Professional and driven, always adding a touch of class to the work environment.

I'd often ask her for advice on life and love and she's the one I'd always vent to. What will I do with her gone?

When my shift was over this afternoon, I hugged her goodbye (twice) and told her we'd keep in touch. Going to work will be a bit harder and sadder now.

I will miss her. Terribly.

Thanks for everything, Sujin!!

Wordless Wednesday - "Hello" (cardboard along Roosevelt Rd)

It's a girl!

One of my former coworkers from the arts-and-crafts store I work at is pregnant and due sometime next month.

She's having a baby shower next weekend and I wanted to send her something.

Because of work and the continuing, oppressive heat, I didn't have the time or energy to create anything too elaborate.

So I decided on painting a small greeting card of a pink butterfly.

Watercolors with ink on watercolor paper - 3 1/4" x 4 1/2" (NFS)

Butterflies always symbolized a beautiful type of freedom to me and it seemed like the perfect image to use.

It's simple but I hope she likes it.

May God bless Patricia and her coming baby girl!