Putting a smile on someone's face.

I deserve it. I want them. And I don't have anyone to buy them for me, God dammit!

*whew*

Now that I got that off my chest.....

No matter how pathetic, depressing, and redundant it sounds, I'll continue buying myself flowers until I meet the most wonderful man that will want to buy them for me.

This time around, I chose simple daisies in bright, FUN colors.

The blues and purples look a bit artificial and "loud" but that's part of their charm.

As I carried the bouquet down the street, a passerby commented, "You're going to put a smile on someone's face."

He's right about that. Mine!

Reconnecting with Seattle.....

What would I do if the feelings I had when I first visited were no longer there?

When I got off the plane last Monday and made it downtown, there was a disconnect with the city.

How strange to be back at the piers overlooking Puget Sound. I wasn't sure I'd ever see it again. So why were there no emotions?

Perhaps it's because I was so stressed--so focused on the interview.

The interview itself went okay but I'm sure I could've done better.

I was told out of the 60 applicants, only 8 were chosen to be interviewed (one of them being me). But out of those eight that three were internal candidates.

I'd imagine they'd hire from within first, right?

At least I can look back and say I tried. All I can do now is wait.

I was only in Seattle about a day-and-a-half this time around and it was very much a business trip. I went on the interview, looked for apartments, and maybe most importantly, met a couple contacts in hopes they might become friends should I move there.

A charcoal sketch I found abandoned at the piers!

Before catching my flight home Tuesday evening, I needed to see the waterfront one last time.

Back to the piers with Mount Rainier in the distance...right where I started.

In that moment I did NOT want to go and started to cry.

"God let them pick me," I said with quivering lips. "Let me come back."

And the emotions and the connectedness were there again.

One day I'll be back in Seattle--I'm sure of it--but hopefully as a resident and not a tourist.

Time will tell.

A chance.

Chance n. A favorable set of circumstances; a possibility; an opportunity.

I was scared to accept it. It would've been so easy to decline their offer.

The distance, the short-notice, finding accommodations and someone to cover my shifts at work. But I did not want fear to hold me back so I said YES!

Ever since my visit to Seattle in May, I've been applying to places out there.

Well, I was offered a job interview in Seattle next week and it's the same city department I worked at for five years here in Chicago!

I definitely have the experience and know I can grow into the role.

The only catch is this department is unionized--the exact union I belonged to when working for the city of Chicago (before being laid off).

I know they pick candidates based on seniority first, then by qualifications. And since I've never worked in Seattle before, I'll be going in from scratch.

But I must try!

After all, they saw something in my resume to call me out-of-state to compete against those already working for them, right?

Whether or not I get the job, at least I'll get to see Seattle again.

And perhaps most importantly, they've given me some hope...they've given me a chance.

Almost mine.

I wanted to take it home as soon as I laid eyes upon it.

Some things aren't meant to be though.

While walking to work two weeks ago, I spotted this.....

Random street art!

It was a small wooden plaque bolted to a street sign.

An Asian-inspired motif carefully painted then varnished.

Close-up detail

Surely it would've gotten damaged by the elements over time or by some vandals or taken down by the city...and I wanted it for myself. Not only because I actually noticed it but to preserve it as well.

But the creator of this piece was clever enough to bend the bolt in the back just enough so it couldn't be unscrewed (I tried...several times).

So I let it be--that it may live out its life in the public eye as was intended.

Sure enough, as I walked to work yesterday, this wooden plaque was dangling from the street sign, cut right in half...either by the city or some ne'er-do-well.

Disgraceful!

It was sad to see it gone so soon but street art runs the risk of being removed--one way or another.

What survived was loosely hooked onto the bolt and I gently plucked it off and took the remaining half home...if anything as a reminder of what was almost mine.

Color therapy!

She said she had a dream about me and it was filled with colors.

Colors that inspired her to make this.....

Can you believe it?!

Another one of my coworkers knitted me a scarf! (See the first one here).

Loaded with blocks of color and made with LOVE, it is a true work of art!

I proudly wore it all day at the crafts store when she gave it to me.

Look at the time and care and detail that went into this!

This particular coworker is like the mother hen at our store and I often ask her for advice and tell her my troubles.

I think she saw how down I was--and perhaps how little I thought of myself--and wanted to create something to lift my spirits.

I cannot wait until fall and the cooler weather to hit so I can start wearing this all the time.

Thank you, Sujin! It is gorgeous!