Saturday, March 31, 2012


Underneath large concrete benches I could see their mud trails etched into the damp soil.

While walking through the Museum Campus in Grant Park before work, I noticed the spanning walkways were LITTERED with worms.

I couldn't figure out why they'd travel so far out only to be trampled on by morning runners or pecked away by birds or dried out by the rising sun. Was it God's plan for them to be left aimless and vulnerable?

I thought of picking them up and moving them to safety but was afraid I'd be sending them in a direction they weren't intending to go. I just let them be as I didn't want to interrupt their journey. (Maybe that's what God does with us?)

Did the worms know where they were going or did they just think they knew?

The nerd in me checked online and started researching the migration habits of worms. Ugh!

Apparently if the soil becomes too acidic it can cause worms to look for more neutral land. Flooding of their underground tunnels due to rain also draws them out. And naturally needing to mate and populate new territory is another factor.

Is it wise to traverse all that way to be elsewhere, or better--safer--to stay where it's familiar? I think I'd die if I lived here my whole life.

A fellow blogger recently moved to another state and mentioned how much happier he is now.

Maybe that's what I need to do too. Move somewhere like Seattle where it's cloudy over half of the year. Or somewhere quiet and scenic.

I've been applying to jobs in Lexington, KY to be nearer to my ex but I'm not sure that's wise anymore.

How do I know which positions to apply for and which to turn down? Stay local or search nationwide?

What if I never meet anyone in Chicago? What if there's an amazing man but he lives in another city? How will I find him? How will he find me? There could be a fantastic job opportunity far, far from here.

Do I have to risk inching across the proverbial sidewalk to find what I seek in life or just stick with what I know? Should my mud trails always be from the same place or be scattered across this world of ours?

Life would be so much simpler if I were a worm.



Jill said...

You're too sexy to be a worm!

Thombeau said...

I lived in Chicago for 25 years. Moved to Portland. Loved it. Now I'm back in Chicagoland, craving the green and quiet of the Northwest. Yet Life puts us where we're meant to be, as it does with worms and everything else. It is not for us to understand, try as we might. Acceptance is somehow the key.

As for potential job choices, there is no right or wrong; at best, merely cause and effect. You'll have to deal with whatever you have to deal with, wherever you are.

Wishing you the best!

JuJu said...

Well, maybe it would seem simpler, but you could also get crushed by one big fat shoe on your back.

How long have you lived in Chicago? Could you make the break and feel good about it? There are many places out there that could possibly hold adventure for you?

naturgesetz said...

Apply for jobs in Boston. ;)

Actually, Seattle would probably be cloudier, and warmer.

It rains a lot in Ireland (usually not too heavily — people often don't bother with umbrellas because they're used to the mists and the light rains).

But unless you expect to get back together with the ex, I'm not sure that Lexington, KY, is the place to go. If you want a smaller city than Chicago, try Cincinnati.

IMO the thing to do as far as applying for jobs is to apply for ones that interest you. Something that would make use of your artistic abilities would make sense, I suppose. For now, keep your eyes open for possible advancement at the university, and look for artists' jobs anywhere (I suppose they'd mostly be in advertising and publishing).

As for finding a man, there have to be more in Chicago than in smaller cities. But there are bound to be some in any decent sized city. What you need isn't so much to go to the right city as to get out and meet people. If being in a smaller city than would make it more comfortable to get out of the house in evenings and on weekends, then maybe a smaller city would be good for you.

That's how I see it.

Good luck.

And if I don't have another chance to say it in time, I wish you a happy Easter.

MartininBroda said...

obviously :) hope you'll find the solution soon, dear Dean! God bless you!

stanw said...

"much simpler if I were a worm!" Simpler maybe but a lot more dangerous to your health and longevity, that's my thinking...

Being a guy who has moved quite a few times, even across country I must say, I have had rich experiences and met some amazing people and even friends. I don't usually talk much about it but from 1980 to '90 I did find someone and we spent some great times, loved his family and still keep in contact even over 1600 miles. I've lived far up North (remote area - being a smaller population I found people got together more, loved that). From my vantage point now I can say it was good to live in various places, got good jobs. Worth the try if you ask me.

This is certainly the time of the year that worms are on the move. I saw most of them last year when we were having so much rain. Some of them were indeed crossing cement 12 or more feet wide. I wouldn't want to be a worm, everything, even a blade of grass, taller than I would be, shiver.....!

Prayin' you come up with possibilities that peak your interest.

Randuwa said...

My dear friend, Life would be so much poorer if you were a worm. Sending you thoughts of comfort and strength and hope and love.

Rebecca said...

what an interesting theory to be a worm however if I were a worm I would be sure and sleep late to avoid the early bird

Malric said...

As someone who has traveled, sometimes it takes a trip to discover who and what you really are. When I moved to the Boston area, I discovered I hate the area. But I handled NYC pretty well (Brooklyn was better than Staten Island) and New Hampshire was nice. Still, even coming from Northern Illinois (Born in Rockford, DeKalb for school, Dad in Chicago) I found the place I am truly comfortable in: Colorado - Denver more specifically. Everyone has their place though. Don't be afraid to try a few out on your way to finding your true home.

Thombeau said...

Also, and as usual, I agree with Jill!

Dean Grey said...





But isn't accepting life as it is a form of defeat?

I always thought actively doing things differently and going after new opportunities were ways of combating being stuck.



I was born and raised here and have lived in Chicago my WHOLE life!



I actually have considered moving to Boston at one point.

And I took a trip to Ireland about ten years ago with the intent of staying there but came back home three days later.




I appreciate that, kind sir!



Reading your comment makes me want to move! I'm glad living in all those places worked out for you.



Why thank you!



LOL, I'd probably just get up even earlier while the birds were still sleeping.



Yes, I think I shall keep my options open and not restrict myself to one area.


Thanks to everyone for the words of wisdom!


Moving with Mitchell said...

And life would be much shorter if you were a worm. Splat!

I'm always one for shaking things up. I love moving. I love Seattle, too, but I don't think I could cope with the minimal sunshine.

As for Lexington and being near a recent ex, I would cross that off my list!

Unknown said...

Chicago always seemed like a nice city. I think it depends on what feelings it holds for you. Cities tend to do that.

I think the Pacific Northwest is a great idea, just because of what a change it would be. If you decide to look there, let us know if you find anything interesting.

Also, someone mentioned living in Cincinnati. Don't. Do not under any circumstances move there. If you want a nice gay place in Ohio, move to Columbus. It's a big enough city, but still close enough to the country if need be.

Dean Grey said...

Mitchell is Moving!

Mitch, I loathe the sun and LOVE rainy, cloudy weather, that's why Seattle sounded so appealing to me.



Chicago is an AMAZING city but I don't want to stay in one place my whole life, you know?

And don't worry, Ohio isn't on my list, although one of my cousins does live near Cleveland.

My top picks are Seattle, Lexington (KY), Boston, or London.


I appreciate the input from the pair of you!


Ken Riches said...

I would say look for an on-line relationship and let that be the decider for where to move. Take the chance.

Anonymous said...

I like the fact you thought about 'rescuing' the worms from almost certain demise says a lot about your insight and character. Maybe a higher power put them their for you to notice, and be introspective about their life's purpose - to relate it your own, to help you realize your value is as great as theirs - just on a higher evolutionary level.

Sometimes, you just have to let go and let life. To be conscious, to be in the moment and go where your instincts lead you.

It works for me.

Thombeau said...

I have nothing but great things to say about Portland, for the record.

Chicago IS great in a lot of ways, not so great in a lot of others. I'll always love it, though.

Dean Grey said...


But I did that already, Ken.

I met "Mr. Kentucky" through each of our blogs and after we fell for each other, I planned to move out there to be closer to him.

Now that what we had is over, I'm back at square one, all alone here in Chicago.



I will try to let go, Corey, and see where life takes me!



I'll have to check out Portland some time then!


Thanks to the three of you gentlemen!


Unknown said...

My dad said I was the restless child. Most of my life is split between UT and NC. When I filled out the 2010 census form I realized that I had a different address each time I was listed on the census.

I lived in Ohio when I was five. I lived almost a year in Michigan and thirteen months in Brazil. Those locations don't show up in my census history since they were between census periods.

I'm not sure what I will find in Washington, but I am frustrated that this move is on hold for a few more months.

Dean Grey said...


It sounds like the place you will finally call home just needs more fleshing out…and time.