Saturday, April 9, 2011

Road closed ahead.


I guess she didn't see any potential in me. I don't blame her.

The store manager at the arts-and-crafts store I work for informed me yesterday that I would not be keeping my job there.

After the store's "restructuring", my position (which was originally shared by two people) was ultimately given to my alternate.

I didn't have much to say when I learned my fate. Even though I was quite disappointed, there was no sense in arguing at that point. I did want to tell my manager to go to hell but the goody-two-shoes in me said thank you instead.

I thanked her! Uggh!

Later on, while putting up the price change labels on the sales floor I did my best not to cry.

What was the point of working here for the past 7 1/2 months?

I tried very hard to make the best of things. Held on, never missed a shift, and filled in for my counterpart when she'd call off. Even though there were many, MANY times I wanted to quit, I did not.

Getting little sleep, losing time to create, dealing with all the stress and anxiety and the managers' mean attitudes. I invested too much into that place and have nothing to show for it.

*sad sigh*

When I left work that day, I spotted this traffic sign on the way to my city job. I think it sums up just about everything in this post.

43 comments:

Phoenix said...

Oh, Dean. I'm so sorry about your job.
Well... Maybe it's for the better?
Perhaps you'll find a job you enjoy all the more?
I just don't know what to tell you.
Except, perhaps your own words.
**
Breathe deep. Look straight ahead. Nothing to it but to do it. One day at a time.

AJ said...

I know how you feel I've had jobs like these no matter how much you sacrifice in it even if you deal with the bad attitudes, come in and work somebody else's shift last minute. You feel like you put 110% into your job even if it has a bad atmosphere and it ends up you get the raw end of the deal. Or Road Closed, but chin up when one door closes another opens I know it's hard to think that sometimes especially when so many doors seem to be locked just keep patience and hope and another door will open up soon for you.

jason said...

I'm sorry, dean. That really does suck.

Body of Words said...

Happens to us all. Try to think of it a a new opportunity.

bK said...

Ouch! After nearly 8 months of working so hard at that job and the manager just brushed you off like that! I'm going to get teary just reading, "later on, while putting up the price change labels on the sales floor I did my best not to cry."

I don't think you give yourself enough credit. That's a problem my counselor saw in me, and I think I see it in you as well. The opening line, "I guess she didn't see any potential in me. I don't blame her", is so harsh on yourself. Anywho, from my point of view, your consistent hard work and dedication are so obvious. Your manager is clearly too blind to see the potential in you.

SUSAN RODEN said...

Oh oh... sorry to read this Dean.
Do hope the road leads you to better dreams, hope and doughnuts.

Enele said...

Dean,
don't be too sad about that. Don't brood over that too much so that you don't waste your potential.
You know, in my opinion creativity is one of the best things human have and you have a lot of it. It's a hard time for you, I know, but please - please - look ahead. It would be so sadly if you didn't use your creativity. You're so great, you know. ;)
Love, Enele

Liz said...

Oh no. That's sad T.T
Don't give up Dean. Maybe this is the little push you need to really let your REAL passion take center stage. It's gonna be tough. But now, it's an option, isn't it? You have us rooting for you :D

p.s: I'm pretty much a goody-two-shoes too. It sucks sometimes (when you wanna cause damage sooooo bad) but it's not ultimately a bad thing :D

All the best Dean. Although THIS road is closed, I'm sure there's an exit onto another, better road, somewhere :)

Anna T. said...

I believe that when one road closes, another road opens... Good luck to you, Dean! You're on the path!

thormoo said...

I know this will sound like a cliche but I have faced several "Road Closed" signs in my life in the last few years. A couple were quite discouraging, devastating even. And in each case the road closing in one direction, opened up a road in another direction. And in all cases it's worked out better this way....

I think ultimately the reason we do good work, say thank you instead of f*ch you, never miss a shift, etc. is because we do this for ourselves. It's called integrity, self-respect, it's ethical...and in my nearly 49 years on the planet I've learned that those things are far more important and lasting than any job I've ever had.

I've found it helpful when I've faced adversity to learn what I can from it and move forward. That doesn't mean the experience doesn't hurt, of course it does. No body wants to have their job eliminated, it can really affect our self-esteem but I think in this situation you realize this wasn't about you and your work.

Plus they just gave you the gift of time, inspiration (a little anger perhaps?!) and motivation to create art...Perhaps they've done you a favor!

I'm on the other side of Lake Michigan from you and I can assure you that the sun has indeed risen this morning...Hope all goes well!

JuJu said...

Dean, re-read that sign. It says, "all sorts of doors are now opening for you." You are free of a job you dislike. You are free of a boss who is obviously dumber than dirt, and you are free to find that which pleases you most - a glitter filled life.
I know it's a tough spot you're in. But, remember that you are way better than this temporary stop on your journey. That's why you said "thank you." You are a good person.

Embrace the freedom!!!

Mr. Bluehaunt said...

I am very sorry. You did get some experience and some good art supplies, right? :)
I know it sounds cheesy, but sometimes a closed road means you have to change direction.
Stay strong! :)

Paintings and Wanderings said...

Will you get a couple of months of unemployment? (silver lining)

Anonymous said...

i have never commented before;but i feel each and every one of ur readers will agree with me when i say that the next 7.5 months and further will be spent going down the right road.

David Allen Waters said...

Hey friend...I bet if you take a step back, you will realize it wasn't all for nothing...sounds like you've grown some...and it helped you refirm whats important to you...creating.

It is their loss, not yours....now spread those beautiful wings and fly ;)

hugs

Rachel Ott said...

Try to look at this as an opportunity instead of a personal failure. Honestly, sometimes I wish I would lose my job just so making the decision to quit wouldn't be so daunting.

Hang in there.

A. J. Wisteria said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the job...I hope it all gets better soon.

Bouncin' Barb said...

I'm so sorry about the job Dean. It's just so common nowadays. Leave on a good note and you can use them for a reference. Otherwise, you shoot yourself in the foot. You'll find something else. Meanwhile, create something to let it all out. Hugs.

naturgesetz said...

I'm sure it hurts.

Even though you felt she needed the job.

Even though you had felt like quitting many times.

To have them tell you they didn't choose you hurts.


But try to realize that it doesn't mean manager "didn't see any potential in [you]." I was in a management position for a few years, and one of the really difficult things is choosing between two good people, either of whom could do a task well. The manager has to look for some small factor to base a decision on. One deserving person gets the job. Another doesn't. (In government, of course, the ultimate tie breaker is seniority.) You should at least have a good recommendation and something good in your resume when you apply for something else.

Well, I hope you can find another job if you need the income, and I hope you'll be able to use some of the freed-up time to create. Above all, I hope you won't let this get you down.

You're a really good guy, and if one road is closed, hopefully the detour will be worth following.

Hang in there!

Mind Of Mine said...

Wait, you were fired from a job you hated and you are upset. Maybe the faiths intervened and made a step that you wouldn't.

TMCPhoto said...

Truly, if the work environment was that toxic you were right to thank her. You are wrong though in thinking you have nothing to show for your time there. You have learned how to work problem personalities, and probably picked up a few skills here and there. I used to work at a craft store once upon a time, while at first I found myself charged with creative ideas I also found that all that creativity was being drained into the work environment and not directed to my own things. Use some of your new free time to create for you (your art is so fantastic give some time to it) and when the right job comes along for you you'll be ready for it

i'm a superhero i can like fly and shit said...

It was very big of you to thank her.
Keep your head up!

Janie B said...

I'm so sorry you lost your job. I hope this opens a door that leads to a better career for you. Best of luck and good wishes for happiness!

Summer said...

I am sorry you lost your job. I hope that it truly does not mean "road closed", but New road open. This is a chance to try something new, get creating, find another job in a creative place. I will be thinking about you! Hang in there!!
Summer

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Sorry to hear the news, hopefully something better will materialize.

Cathy's ways. said...

Sometimes you have to close one door. Otherwise you will miss another. I'm sad to hear you lost your job but this should encourage you to go on and do something spontaneous, wonderful and creative. This experience hasn't been such a good one but nonetheless- just because that 'road ahead has closed' doesn't mean that all of the rest of the paths you walk will be the same. Sometimes, its a journey yet to be accomplished for you- there's obviously something out there that's much better, better fit for your creativity and wonderful approach to the world, particularly in art.
Don't see it in a terribly bad light. YOU'D BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOUR BIACHH OF A BOSS.
Good luck with your travels in to this mysterious world. Art, your art, your love of art: its just the beginning.
:)

Cathy!

Marty said...

Aw, I'm sorry about that. Loosing a job, even a crappy one, is never easy. I hope the change brings about a new wonderful opportunity for you :-)

mrpeenee said...

No, baby, the road is closed BEHIND you and a damned good thing it is, too. Bad jobs just suck the life out of you and once you've escaped, you look back and can't believe you put up with them.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Oy, not good --- though sounds like you handled it great, and there will be something else out there for you!

Bek said...

OK...hi. I have been a "silent" reader for a long time. I should have said hello a long time ago, but...sometimes. I don't know. What's the point?

Anyway, I am sorry about this sad turn of events in your life. My first thought, though, was "Thank goodness for him!" You have written over and over again that you want more in your artistic life, you don't love being at the store as much as you love the discounts, etc. I just wanted to remind you of that because sometimes we don't have the strength to change our own situations. Life does it for us. Isn't that an old John Lennon quote? "Life is what happens while we are busy making other plans" (or something like that).

Anyway, seeing that no one has commented has shoved me out of passive "reading" role. I wanted to encourage you, to tell you that this is your opportunity to pursue You! Go for it! You have nothing to lose, and I KNOW this is going to be the shove you needed to get you on your way.

“Come to the edge," he said.
They said, "We are afraid."
"Come to the edge," he said.
They came.
He pushed them, and they flew.
(Guillaume Apollinaire)

Oh, and the decision to not burn bridges is NOT a bad thing. It says more about your character than anything. I was impressed. It was what I would have done in the same situation. Don't ever regret being a good person...ever.

Rebekah

AC said...

Sometimes blessings come disguised as bad news. If you weren't happy working there this is a sign that new ventures await you. My warm wishes go out to you.

Adam said...

Sorry for the uneasy situation that you are finding yourself in. Not what you want to hear, but when a door closes, a window opens.

ilduce said...

Hang in there Dean, The universe has something better in mind for you! I was miserable when I was laid off and am now a 1000 times happier in a position I never would have encountered or thought about had the lay off not happened.

Use the time on unemployment to look for different opportunities ad focus on your art.

Dean Grey said...

Phoenix!

Seeing "my" words made me smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AJ!

I shall keep patient and remain hopeful!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason!

Yes it does!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Body of Words!

Yeah, I know I'm not the only one in this situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bK!

I'm very hard on myself, Brody!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Susan!

To better dreams.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enele

I'll try using my creativity!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Liz!

"Although THIS road is closed, I'm sure there's an exit onto another, better road, somewhere."

I like that way of looking at it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anna!

Let's hope you're right!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thormoo!

Perhaps they have done me a favor!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JuJu!

Freedom!

(Oh, and "dumber than dirt" made me LOL!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr. Bluehaunt!

Yes, I've bought lots of glitter over the past 7 1/2 months!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paintings and Wanderings!

I might qualify for unemployment. Not sure as I didn't really look into that yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anonymous!

Let's hope so!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

David Allen Waters!

(((HUGS))) back at you, mate!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rachel!

You hang in there as well!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A. J. Wisteria!

Me too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bouncin' Barb!

Unfortunately the store manager always complains about something. It wouldn't be smart to use her as a reference as she's never said anything good about me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

naturgesetz!

I'm hoping all the things I learned at this job will help me land a better one!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mind Of Mine!

Perhaps, Ian.

I may have hated it there but I NEED a second job so I've course I'm going to be upset when I wasn't asked back.

I put a lot of time, energy, and tears into that place and it hurts to have it end on their terms and not mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TMCPhoto!

"Drained" is a very fitting word!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm a superhero i can like fly and shit!

I shall keep my head up!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Janie B!

Thanks for that!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summer!

I'm looking for that new road!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ken!

Only time will tell!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cathy!

I like your idea of needing to close one door otherwise I might miss another.

Now to find something that's a better fit for me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marty!

Exactly.

Even thought I didn't like that job, it still hurts to be let go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

mrpeenee!

That job has definitely sucked the life out of me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brahm!

I thought I'd be totally devastated by the news but in reality I knew it was coming and was really disappointed instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bek!

"I just wanted to remind you of that because sometimes we don't have the strength to change our own situations. Life does it for us."

I love this line, Rebekah!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AC!

Blessings in disguise?

We shall see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam!

Thank you, sir!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ilduce!

I'm happy to hear it turned out so well for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone's supportive comments mean A LOT and I feel much better now!

-Dean

RoseRed said...

That "Road Closed" sign is a blessing in disguise. Sometimes we need a push to get away from the wrong path. And now that you're off that potholed, dead end you can find a much more scenic route.

addie said...

you live in chicago huh?

Anonymous said...

Weren't you always complaining about this job? You should be happy that you will have more time to focus on your art. Look on the bright side of things. You causing damage to yourself. It seems like you enjoy pity parties. When one door closes another one opens.

Kelley Carey MacDonald said...

OK, first of all they should have a Facebook page so everyone could 'dislike' them!!!
Second.... I'm happy for you. Yup... stringing it along would've been my first choice, too, but this way hopefully you'll be able to collect for a while? While you look to see what GOOD things the Universe has for you!

I know I told you this before (probably, I'm always quoting my Mom) but my Mom used to say, when things were like this, "Sometimes you can't see the Hand of God guiding you to something better." Something you'd never see on your own, from your 'safe' place in a job.

And YES, you were right to thank the manager. (Your mom did a great job raising YOU) Because he/she did you the great FAVOR of pushing you into the next story of your life.

We love you, Dean, and KNOW there's something good waiting for you to discover it. Peace, friend.

Cynthia said...

This just sucks. But you've been given some very good advice here, too. I have had jobs I hated and it usually came down to the way I was treated by my boss. Leaving those jobs always felt like a relief. So focus on that feeling and use that energy to help you feel better about yourself. You deserve a job where you are appreciated. That may sound glib, especially in this economy. But I believe you will find a better job.

Dean Grey said...

RoseRed!

I need to travel the scenic route!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

addie!

Yes!

I'm born and raised in Chicago and have lived here my WHOLE life!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anonymous!

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kelley!

I appreciate your kind words!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cynthia!

I'm always looking for something better!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to all of you!

-Dean

Mike said...

Awww Dean- I'm so sorry to hear that. I can only hope that an awesome opportunity is around the corner for you ;-)

Chelle said...

I'm sorry to hear that. At the same time, how you have a chance to go on to better things and create. Look for something that is more up your alley. Keep your head up, I will pray for you. xoxo

Dean Grey said...

Mike!

Thank you, sir!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chelle!

I shall try to do more creating!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I appreciate hearing from the both of you!

-Dean