Colored ink pens in Moleskine journal - (NFS)
Just thinking about it gives me a physical reaction.
My heart begins to race. A tensed feeling floods my chest and rushes up my neck. Teeth clench as I become lightheaded.
Tomorrow is Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the season, which I'm working on as well as the rest of Thanksgiving weekend.
No doubt the arts-and-crafts store will be PACKED. Unfortunately I cannot handle crowds well. Whenever faced with large groups of people, I've always fled, running to safer ground.
But during the next three days I'll be forced to stay since it's my job to be there. Not having the option to escape is going to be a HUGE trigger for me.
What if I have an anxiety attack right there in the store? Oh God, I'll be found in a fetal position next to the Martha Stewart glitter!
That terrible job has made me cry, worn me down, and depleted my time to create. Yet deep down a part of me says not to quit or call off but to dig deep, to try harder....and that's what I'll do!
I hope I can survive!