Monday, October 4, 2010

Welcome home, Dean.


I felt like crying but wasn't sure. A bit emotional or maybe just really tired.

Over the weekend I finally worked both jobs together for the very first time.

At the arts-and-crafts store I'm told I'm going too slow and that I still have EVEN MORE tasks to learn (I'm only there for four hours!). It makes me feel incompetent and stupid.

While at the city job (I was rehired, starting this past Friday) I picked everything up instantly as if I never left. I even surprised myself! Going so fast that my supervisor there said, "You're coming back strong."

It's like night and day. At the arts-and-crafts store the managers take no interest in me, at times not even responding when I say goodbye or hello. At the city job everyone was happy to see me back. Lots of hugs. One of my coworkers said with a smile, "Welcome home, Dean."

When I was laid off from my city job over a year ago it was a shock yet a part of me was glad to be away from there since I considered it a dead-end job. But now I'm right back where I started. I'm trying to look at it as not going backwards but continuing where I left off.

It's a challenge working two part-time jobs, taking the 6am train into the city for the first one and getting home after 6pm when finishing up with the second. Long days for sure.

At least now I get to see the sun rise over Buckingham Fountain every week while walking to work!

Last week's sunrise (this made me teary-eyed). So VERY lovely.....

I'm exhausted but in a good way. I'm working, being productive and responsible, and earning money all at once.

On the train ride home were people heading out from a hard days work and now I was one of them. And even though my feet are killing me, it's a good feeling.

36 comments:

WannabeVirginia W. said...

I know exactly what you mean.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dean,

I think that the arts and crafts job is not good for your physical and mental health. I think you must look for another part time
job. But while you are still there, you must not think there is a problem with you. Nothing is wrong with you. The people who are treating you badly are the ones who have the problem. Most probably, they hate their jobs and themselves for working there. They feel better about themselves by being rotten to you. That there is somebody that their pea brains think they can push around.
That is a power trip. Please don't let them win by feeling bad about it. Be proud of yourself that you might be the only good and decent person there. Don't let them dictate your mood. Be positive as you are. Kill them with your good manners and kindness. That is not a sign of weakness. That is a sign of strength. I always tell myself that if I go to hell, I would break Satan by being kind to him.

You have the right attitude towards your government job. It's a continuity, not a regression. There are good and decent people there who like you. It is worthwhile to cultivate a long lasting relationship with them.
Your arts and crafts job is just temporary. You're out of there at the first opportunity.

Please excuse the computer for jumping lines. I decided not to make corrections because I want to post this right away.

I'm nearly done with my letter to you. I hope it will help you.

Take good care of yourself.

Caesar Augustus

SUSAN RODEN said...

I have worked so many varieties of side jobs, that can relate so very much to your day Dean. Usually surprising who values our hard efforts.

Soak those tired puppies, relish the sunsets and good luck!

Mike said...

It seems as if things are looking up ;-)

Winter said...

it's nice to feel a sense of accomplishment :) take care of your body while working and get yourself a nice comfy pair of shoes! ^^ HUGS!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dean,

I've decided to stop fine tuning my letter to you. I will need your input anyhow for any change in planning.

It is late here. I'll put it in the mail tomorrow.

Take care.

Caesar Augustus

Phunk Factor said...

All I can say is...way to go, Dean!! :D

Kristen said...

I'm happy for you Dean! It does feel good to be productive. At least I think so.

Steven Anthony said...

so nice to hear a bit of a lift in your voice...way to go. Hard yes, but good, right? chin up friend :)

David Waters said...

You inspire my friend.

AutumnBoy said...

hi Dean

sounds like a great day!
i to have the long days with an hour drive one way and leaving at 6 am and not getting home till 6 or later each night, although most of the time i enjoy the drive, my personal time

i sometimes have to dig down deep to remind myself to be very thankful that i have had uninterupted employement for the last 3 years, and a good job to, and i am providing for my family dispite feeling hugely under appriciated most of the time, not neccesarily at workm but at home

it sounds like you are in good with one job you returned to, and not in so good with the art job, some employers just can't be pleased, especially if they see the posistion you are filling as a neccesary evil. may just need to cut your loses with the art job, if needed, keep it until you can find something where your talents and personality are appriciated

hang in there Dean, the sun rises with a new dawn tomorrow and with new possibilities

i to have to keep telling myself that, and often struggle to believe it, or even to care

forgive my typing please, posting from my cellphone!

ciao

Tammy's Studio said...

It is said a man can't have two masters. He will hate one and love the other. I want the best for you! I needed to through that biblical principle out there as I know you have strong faith. Matthew 6:24.

On the bright side I have some mail art I'm going to be sending your way within the next few weeks. I hope it will brighten your day! =)

Dean Grey said...

WannabeVirginia W.!

Hopefully you can relate to all the good stuff and not the bad!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Caesar Augustus (Anonymous)!

I started applying to other places the first week I began working at the arts-and-crafts store!

Finding another part-time job is easier said than done!

And no worries about your letter. Whenever you send it is fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Susan!

I shall relish the sunsets!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mike!

Yes, for a change!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Winter!

I definitely need a new pair of shoes for work!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phunk Factor!

Go me!!

LOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kristen!

Being productive is good for the soul.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steven!

Right!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

David Waters!

Thank you, good sir!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AutumnBoy!

It sounds like a long day for you too!

(((HUGS)))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tammy!

You sent me so much stuff already!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone's kind words are greatly appreciated!

-Dean

Anonymous said...

Hi Dean,

I know it is tough to look for a job. I know you know that persistence pays off. I'm sure you'll find something better.

Caesar Augustus

Rakesh said...

A hard day's work feels good. Good going, Dean!

Doomed But Cheerful! said...

This is tremendous news!
As for the arts & crafts thing ... you will probably be in a position soon where you can flick that job off. They clearly don't appreciate you. In the meantime, it will put $ in your back pocket, and might give you some inspiration for something or other. Oh - yes ... don't pass up on anything you need to buy on your staff discount (I assume they are not so mean that you don't get one!).
Awesome ... Dean's working. Tremendous =]

William said...

Wait till you hit 50 and you're working full-time. Everything starts hurting. Oh wait. I'm suppose to say something encouraging. Shucks. I can't think of anything encouraging. I guess I'll need to sleep on it. Oh wait. I'm at work. Maybe I can shut my door and sneak in a nap. Please don't tell anyone!

bK said...

Congrats on your two jobs! That's quite a work day, and you even managed to catch up with your city job. They should have never laid you off in the first place!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Glad your reception back was so warm.

WOL said...

My da always used to tell me that when people are being ill mannered and rude, dont respond in kind. Your good manners make them look even worse, and it shows character when you don't stoop to their level.

I had a job interview Wednes afternoon -- one of four vying for a full time position with bennies! Wish me luck!

jason said...

Ah...."good exhausted" is the only good kind of exhausted.

Here's to your getting some much deserved rest soon!

Mary Sheehan Winn said...

Sounds like the City job is the one.
Don't let the lackluster management of the arts and crafts place get to you. The managers probably turn over on a regular basis and no one gives a hoot. Y'know?
I'm so glad you're doing well.
I know it takes everything you have.
{{{Dean}}}********

Dean Grey said...

Caesar Augustus (Anonymous)!

I hope you're right about me finding something better!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rakesh!

Thanks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doomed But Cheerful!

I'm definitely saving all that extra money!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

William!

Get back to work, Bill!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bK!

Brody, yeah, they should never have laid me off in the first place! The nerve! LOL

But that's all in the past, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken)!

I'm glad about that too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WOL!

The best of luck getting the job!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason!

Mmmmm....rest!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mary!

I appreciate the hugs!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to all of you for the supportive comments!

-Dean

stanw said...

Like the tone of your post, working, bringing home the money, accomplishment of a job well done. Those folk at the arts-and-crafts store just don't get it, they are probably jealous of you (incompetent and stupid you aren't). "A good feeling," says it all, despite some aching feet, we all get that at times. Carry on carrying on..........!

Mind Of Mine said...

I couldn't read all the comments above, but I am sure that someone has already said what I have said.

But maybe the reason you're not at your best in the A+C store is because your heart is not in it...

Dean Grey said...

Stan!

I shall keep carrying on!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mind of Mine!

You're absolutely right, Ian. My heart's just not into it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I always appreciate it when you two gentlemen stop by!

-Dean

Mike said...

Dean - wow, you certainly inspire a lot of people! Lots of love out here! Thanks for posting that beautiful sunrise photo. When I was younger, I too, worked a bunch of odd jobs in order to keep my life in order. And i remember being exhausted all the time. But i met some great people, experienced things I never thought I would, and in the end, you'll find your path...and it gets easier - trust me. Hang in there!

naturgesetz said...

It's great that you were so welcome back at the city job and settled back in so well.

As for the arts and crafts job, it's something that gets you some money. At some point you may not need the money it pays, or you may find a job that's a better fit for you. I suppose you should do it the best you can, but if you do that, then how satisfied the bosses are is nothing to lose sleep over.

That picture with the leaf is really clever. SOL (Smiling Out Loud)

Dean Grey said...

Mike!

I hope you're right and that things turn out for me as well as they did for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

naturgesetz!

I'm trying to do the arts-and-crafts-job as best I can but I still don't like working there!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks to the pair of you!

-Dean

Kelley Carey MacDonald said...

I. Am. So. Proud. Of. You.

Dean Grey said...

Kelley!

Awww....so sweet of you.

-Dean

work and travel said...

its really nice view, sun is trying to save itself from clouds :)

courtney bishop 101 said...

i think this is really good and that you are expressing your feelings
please look at my blog thx ps
like the pics

Dean Grey said...

work and travel!

That's a unique way of looking at it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

courtney bishop 101!

If I didn't express my feelings I'd explode!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I appreciate you both chiming in here!

-Dean

Dean Scott said...

I am glad you got to enjoy sunrises over Buckingham Fountain.

Dean Grey said...

Dean!

There's a beautiful view of the Chicago skyline from Buckingham Fountain (facing away from the lake).

-Dean