Monday, August 3, 2009

Unemployed and on unemployment.....

Maybe it's because I'm a Taurus. Taureans are known to be stubborn after all and resistant to change and taking action. I waited to file for unemployment until two weeks after being laid off.

I suppose I procrastinated because filing those papers makes it all very real. That I'm officially jobless and dependent on the government for financial assistance.

Receiving unemployment is a mixed blessing. I feel grateful, embarrassed, frustrated, supported, and weak all at the same time.

Work is good for the soul....even mundane work. It gives you purpose during the day. A reason to get out of bed in the morning.

The week after getting laid off was spent mourning the loss of my job. That first Monday and Tuesday "off" hit me the hardest. I didn't care for that job and yet I'll miss the routine and seeing my coworkers....knowing I'll be productive for that day.

My UI Claimant Wage Information Sheet that arrived in the mail this weekend, which I decorated with a field of flowers, a colorful rainbow, and butterflies!

And before anyone mentions again how much free time I now have to focus on my art, let me say that when you're feeling down and uncertain you don't always want to do much of anything. Most of the time I'm unproductive and unmotivated.

Which leads to me to question. The theme of my art blog is escaping dead-end jobs to create a life in art. Should this blog continue to exist if I have no job to escape? What is its purpose now? What's my purpose?

I'll end this post with a quote my now former coworker gave to me that I read from time to time:

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning". --Ivy Baker Priest


naturgesetz said...

Ivy Baker Priest — there's a name from out of the past. For those who don't recognize the name, she was Treasurer of the United States during the Eisenhower administration (1953-1960). All U.S. currency bears the signatures of the Secretary of the Treasury and of the Treasurer of the United States. She was the first Treasurer of the U.S. I was aware of.

As for the purpose of the blog, it would be good if you could maintain it to let us know how things are going with your career, and how you are feeling. Also for an alert when you have put something up for auction on e-bay, and just so we can see what you are working on.

IOW, I want you to be in touch. I want to know what's up with you.

And I like your drawing on the notice.

Dean Grey said...


Thanks for the history lesson on Priest! I had no idea until you mentioned all of that.

The blog will remain for now. You're right, it's a place to highlight my eBay auctions and just let everyone know how I'm doing.

Thanks again!


Pilgrim said...

Who stated that the world is round. The earth is a flat plate. :-D Propz Pilgrim

Unknown said...

I think your blog should continue to exist and that the theme remains relevant. A dead end job exploded. And all the while you have been creating a life in art (look at all of the supportive followers you have earned!). Exploding doughnuts, clearing out new space so you can move on--- it's an apt metaphor for creating a life in art.

Obviously it's not always a blast! ;-) but it is perhaps all part of the journey.

I was drawn to your blog when I saw your self portrait on another blog. I like your work. And, I'm wishing you all the best.

Meeko Fabulous said...

Dean, you would be missed. Your blog can still be your escape. Besides, we'd find you! MUAH HA HA! ;)

Anonymous said...

Here's another person who wishes you well and likes to hear how you are doing!

MartininBroda said...

Dean, don’t shock a loyal reader with such considerations (about ending the blog) please (!!!), I know such holes by myself, maybe the blog could be a help to give your live structure, I guess it’s already so; and (I hope this don’t sounds wrong) I’m really interested in how you’re doing and your art, good luck.

Anonymous said...

And here is someone else who is wishing you well and likes to hear how you are doing!

Dean Grey said...


I thought it was round!



Welcome aboard!

Thanks for the nice comment. Perhaps you're right in that losing the dead-end job is part of the whole process.

Only time will tell.






Thanks! (twice)



It wasn't my intention to shock anyone just merely reflecting on things.

Thanks for your continued loyalty!


I appreciate everyone's words of wisdom!


Carolina said...

YOu're lucky to have that kind of support, here, when you lose your job, you have to survive on your own and do whatever it takes to stay alive. You are very lucky, Dean, not only for that, but you are!

Dean Grey said...

Thank you, Carolina!

Your support means a lot to me as well!


Doomed But Cheerful! said...

Dear Dean, Please don't go away, even if some of us are irregular readers, we still want to know 'wazzup'!
True, the original purpose of the blog has now ceased to be relevant, so I implore you now to change focus, and use this space to show off your work, to advertise forthcoming offerings on E-bay, and to continue to educate us in how to look at things. 'Educate' might appear to be too lofty a term, but your very special persepective, one of gentleness and acceptance (hence finding beauty in apparently mundane and ugly things) is one from which we can all learn heaps!
Having spent the best part of a year in quiet, early 'retirement', I sympathise with your observation on having plenty of time, but frequently little motivation to do anything. It's at times like this that we all need to 'dig deep' and rootle around in our psyche to remind ourselves of our purpose, our root definition. For some, it is to love, others it is to excel, and others it is to serve. Often, the struggle to find that purpose may seem fruitless, and not worth the candle. In my experience, the reward is in the search, for all the way along that journey we seem to find out all sorts of things about ourselves and the people around us that can surprise and sometimes delight us.
For instance,you observation of the beauty of a stained, used bucket, has brought me delight today. I hope you will continue to be able, and willing to continue to bring delight to all you readers.
Have a wonderful day. Hei konā mai! G =]

Dean Grey said...

Wow, thanks for the thoughtful comment, Doomed But Cheerful!

I'll keep my blog running for the time being. No worries.


stanw said...

Hey man, just ran across your blog. Who wouldn't be intrigued by the name "Exploding Doughnut?!!" Already enjoyed your take on things a lot of people would not see; being into photography I am always finding unusual and interesting things to take 'that' pic.
I agree with the quote at the end of this post. I did have that kind of job that I hung on to despite the abuse I got from my boss until one day I just up and quit. Someone said if one door closes another one opens and that actually happened in spades, I now enjoy a place of employment that is a delight to have.
You bet this blog has to continue, love it!

Dean Grey said...


Thanks so much for stopping by my blog!

Let's hope I'm as lucky as you and find a job I absolutely love!


Mary Sheehan Winn said...

Chin up, You're an artist and a good one, too.
Since I'm reading backwards I know you are moving on. Good on ya.

Dean Grey said...


No matter how old a blog post is, it's never too late to leave a great comment!

Thank you!!


Mary Sheehan Winn said...

I return to the same post and this time I'm struck by the quote about the world, the end and the beginning. It's a good way to think, but being an artist is a struggle and often we are melancholy types to begin with. Your work is strong.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments on my color. I so appreciate a fresh eye.

Dean Grey said...


I'm glad you returned to the same post!

I love that quote too and have to keep reminding myself of that.



Unknown said...

I am glad you kept your blog alive.

Dean Grey said...


Me too, sir.