Sunday, May 3, 2009

Rain, puddles, and tears (Part 3)


Puddles are gifts from the rain. Rain is a gift from God. God's holy water blesses the earth so that new growth may not only emerge....but thrive. The downpour washes away the dirt and shame and cleanses thy soul made bare.

This is the final and perhaps most important post about myself turning thirty.

I know you're all probably thinking, "How many days does your birthday have, Dean!?" This is the last, I swear!

Part 1 dealt with weathering the storm....the disappointment and sadness....of my 30th birthday.

Part 2 gave me a chance to reflect on things to see where I've been and where I'm headed.

Part 3 is a chance to start my third decade of life off with good....no, great intentions. To ask God for guidance and clarity and strength.....

My grandmother's rosary

My hands were clasped so tightly the blood rushed from my fingertips. And with my grandmother's rosary around my neck I prayed for the same four things I always do:

For God to let me be great, let me do great things, let great things come into my life, let great people come into my life.

And I mean "great" in the truest sense of the word. Not, "Oh, what a great guy." I mean true greatness. To soar and transcend. Be extraordinary, renowned, remarkable, amazing. Truly great!

Let this be a time, as others here mentioned, for me to see what I can still do rather than what I haven't done. An opportunity to do things differently both as a person and an artist. To find those dreams and parts of myself I let die and give them a second chance at life.

And from all the times I've fallen let a new stalk emerge from the drenched, tear-covered earth. A stem strong from my resilience which will bloom into the most glorious of blooms!

"Let me be great, let me do great things, let great things come into my life, let great people come into my life."

17 comments:

Dolores said...

A much more uplifting post. Well done and I'm glad you have something of your grandmother's to give you strength. Continuity. Lovely.

kenflett said...

you want greatness... love l believe will bring you greatness, giving, receiving., l don't mean to sound like a drunk monk but...
your a very good artist, so paint what you love, paint what you feel passionate about., what is important to you, what makes you feel alive.
sorry l don't mean to ramble on your blog.
take care
ken

Tracey Clarke said...

Amen and Amen....this is beautiful, Dean.

Kathleen Coy said...

Dean, I love how you "put it all out there" on your blog!

Wishing you a lifetime of greatness!

naturgesetz said...

I'm sure God will answer that prayer, possibly in a way you don't expect, because his idea of greatness may not be exactly the same as ours. May God make you strong and resilient and truly great in his sight.

Carolina said...

You already are great :)

Paula Villanova said...

I think your writing's pretty great!

Dean Grey said...

Dolores!

I'm glad you like what I had to say. Part 3 is definitely more optimistic than Part 1 and 2.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ken!

Feel free to ramble on here anytime!

Thanks for the advice. I'm definitely going after what I'm passionate about.

And I do believe love can change a person. But you have to find that special someone first!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tracey!

Thank you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kathleen!

Thanks for the well wishes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

naturgesetz!

Thank you for your insights here. You're right, God might answer my prayers in ways I don't expect.

Only time will tell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carolina!

I think you're pretty great too! *(~_^)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paula!

Glad you like my writing style!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you everyone for the supportive words and comments!

It means a lot!

-Dean

Karen said...

Hi Dean
Thanks for stopping by at my blog and commenting :)
Hope your day is filled with 'Greatness' today. x

Martha Miller said...

Happy 30th, Dean! So wise for one so young...
(Yes, young. 30!!! You're practically still in utero! :^)

word verification is:

COSMO

gotta love it!

Dean Grey said...

Karen!

Thank YOU for stopping by MY blog!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Martha!

Thanks for for the birthday wishes.

LOL. Yeah, I still have some time left!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank both of you, ladies!

-Dean

Deedee said...

Hi Dean, Belated Happy Brithday. I've just had one myself, #53 and I can tell you, I am still dealing with many of the same questions and problems that you are. I think the best we can ask for is that God make us an instrument for good, you know..."Thy will be done" and then look for signs in our lives. Best wishes to you on your quest!

Dean Grey said...

Hello there, Deedee!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

I appreciate the words of wisdom. Best wishes to YOU as well on YOUR own quest.

Thanks again!

-Dean

Alvin Richard said...

I had my mid-life crisis at 30. I can relate very closely to what you are saying with the number. Thirty became my wake-up call. There was so much I wanted and needed to do in my life, and it seems that youth was attached to it...and I was watching it pass me by.

Well there had been many birthdays since then and all I can say is...be careful for what you wish for. If you are passionate about something, the stars will align for you in ways that you may not always understand, sometimes the silver lining is hidden, you have to be awake and aware to see it as an opportunity to grow inwardly. I would suggest that you read ''A New Earth'' by Eckart Tolle. All the answers are here.

My thirties were amazing, and now in my forties, it's even better. When I ran my first marathon at the age of 30, a runner in front of me had this written on the back of his shirt, ''Let me win, and if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt''. If there is one common thread that holds my life together it has to be PERSEVERENCE. Nothing was handed out to me on a silver plater. When you fall, you get back up and have another go at it. Time heals all wounds.

''GREAT WORKS ARE PERFPORMED NOT BY STRENGHT BUT BY PERSEVERENCE'' - Samuel Johnson

Dean Grey said...

Alvin!

I appreciate the well thought out response from you!

That's exactly how it feels sometimes. Like life is passing me by.

I hope my 30's will be amazing for me too.

Perseverance is always with me, Alvin, even on days when I feel like it's gone.

Thanks again for the quotes, suggestions, and words of wisdom from someone who's been there, done that.

It means a lot!

-Dean

Kelley Carey MacDonald said...

OK, guys.... let's hope thirty is nowhere near your 'mid' life!!!! Dean, every decade is a milestone, and even though you don't feel like you've 'hit it' - you are well on your way! You're a wonderful artist. And I'm with DeeDee (and I'm a year older than her so there!)... ask God to work through you, and with you, and nothing you do will ever be in vain. You've already accomplished much in your short life. The thirties are wonderful - the 40's are BETTER, the 50's are totally freeing - man, it's a great view from here! Just keep doing what you're doing, and Happy Belated birthday. Sorry I missed it - puppy crap!

Dean Grey said...

Kelley!

I appreciate the belated birthday wishes. No need to apologize, you were busy with your new pup!

I definitely will be praying for guidance along the way.

Let's hope what you say is true about the 30's, 40's, and 50's!

Thanks so much for the thoughtful comments!

-Dean