"I love you. I need you to survive."

The Chicago Cultural Center was hosting its annual Creative Chicago Expo today, which is basically a one-day event filled with tips and advice for artists (the business side of things). I missed this last year and wanted to check it out this time around.

Here's the problem.....

I have a thing about being in large crowds. In the past I've had mild panic/anxiety attacks when put in social situations. Getting incredibly nervous, feeling nauseous and dizzy, heart beating quicker. I just can't seem to handle big groups of people.

Anyways.....

I went inside and the place was already crowded! Crap!

I was determined to at least walk through and look around. The first floor mainly had people at tables giving out info about their organizations. I moved to the second floor thinking it'd be less busy. It was even more packed up there! Double crap!

I saw a sign that showed a list of free workshops that were being held there. I picked the one titled, "Marketing on a budget". Perfect. I don't make a lot at my current job and I could definitely learn some tricks to market my artwork better. So I headed up to the third floor. When I got there, the room was filled to capacity and people were already standing! Triple crap!

When faced with so many people I did what I normally do....I ran for it.

I went to higher ground on the fourth floor to see if any other workshops were going on. Nope. Only on the floors below. Feeling depressed and stupid that I came here only to NOT take part in any of the free events, I went to the highest level (the fifth floor Garland Room).

Here's a shot of the staircase leading to the Garland Room

For those of you who've never seen it, the Chicago Cultural Center is super beautiful on the inside. Very ornate. I started taking pictures with my camera. I should at least do that while I'm here.

And then I heard it. Singing.....

In one of the rooms on the fifth floor was a group performing some songs. I later found out it was the Chicago Children's Choir rehearsing. I heard about the CCC but never knew they performed in this building.

There was a small group watching them, mostly parents and other students. I kind of snuck in and sat in the back.

A shot of the choir perfoming. Sorry, the picture's blurred!

I was thoroughly impressed. These kids can sing! They had to be in there early teens but sang in harmony so well! I was able to hear at least three songs, all upbeat, energetic, and powerful.

One song in particular caught my attention. It was a gospel song and part of the refrain went, "I love you. I need you to survive."

I'll be damned if they weren't singing that to just me. At that moment, feeling really low and foolish, that's just what I needed to hear. A heavenly voice telling me, "I love you. I need you to survive."

It moved me and I got a bit teary-eyed.

I have to give props to the Chicago Children's Choir's instructor/conductor/artistic director, Josephine Lee. She handled her class beautifully. She was happy, open, enthusiastic, focused, and in her element doing what she loved. The children seemed to feed off that energy and it showed in their performance.

I wanted what she had and was so envious. I hope to be like that one day as an artist and as a person. Will I get there....who knows.

But I do know I'll be checking out the CCC perform live now that I've heard them practice. The day didn't go as planned but I knew I'd be just fine after that. Those lyrics will always stay with me.

"I love you. I need you to survive."