Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Who's your daddy?


My Dad would've turned 75 today. He died three-and-a-half years ago from a heart attack.

I was looking through some of his things and wanted to share this with everyone. It's from one of his visas to enter France. After leaving (former) Yugoslavia I know he traveled to and stayed at several countries before finally arriving in America.

He was 30 at the time of this picture. Trying to make it like everyone else. I always thought he looked handsome in this photo.

My dad had big plans and was a go-getter. He started his own construction business here and was always hardworking. And since I'll be turning 30 in April, trying to turn my art into a career, well, I thought it would be nice to have a little bit of Daddy here in my blog for inspiration.

He certainly wasn't the easiest person to live with and I definitely had my issues with him. I felt since he wasn't a good father that I could be mean to him. That he deserved it. I treated that man like trash towards the later part of his life. Shame.

Wonder if before turning 30 he wondered if he'd make it too.

Happy Birthday, Daddy.....

18 comments:

JUSTIN said...

Awwww, that's sweet! He looks right handsome for sure.

Dean Grey said...

Thanks!

-Dean

Kelley Carey MacDonald said...

What a handsome man! And try to make peace with yourself about how you treated him. You were reacting to your pain caused by his inability to be a good dad. I bet now he's beyond all that and only feels his love for you. Next life, maybe, he'll be able to be better. You... have a wonderful gift of art and creativity, and can have a happy life - go get it! :)

Dean Grey said...

Thank you, Kelley!

I appreciate the kind words. Making peace with the past takes time. Slowly but surely, right?

Having a happy life is a main goal of mine. "Go get it!"....I like that idea, Kelley!

-Dean

Daria said...

Wow, your dad was really cute. I see got some of it...

Anyway, I just saw that your dad's from Brusnik?! A little island in Croatia? That's nice, really nice. I'm from Croatia, so this stuff interests me, a lot.

Can you get more information, please? I'm so curious.

Daria

Dean Grey said...

Hi Daria!

Yes, my dad was from Brusnik.

Unfortunately, I don't know a whole lot about my father growing up in (former) Yugoslavia. He never really talked about it....at all.

And now that he passed, along with all of his other siblings, there's no way to find that info out.

It feels like there's a void on that side of the family for that exact reason.

The best I can tell you is do some google searches on that region. You'll find out just as much as I do.

Hope that helps!

Oh, and thanks for the compliments!

-Dean

Daria said...

Thanks, Dean.

I really know all about that region (I was born there, after all). But I was interested in his story. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of my dad's uncle, who escaped from Yugoslavia and went to Canada. It was interesting story...

Thanks, anyway.

Daria

Dean Grey said...

Daria!

Well, it sounds like I'm the one who's going to have to ask YOU for more information since you were actually born there.

More coincidences.

My dad's brother lived in Canada (Vancouver)!

Again, sorry but I don't know my dad's "story"....at least not the part taking place in Yugoslavia.

-Dean

Daria said...

Dean!

Even more coincidences.

My dad's uncle and aunt live in Vancouver. Never been there or anywhere, except in some European countries. But I've got time.

It's okay that you don't know. Nothing important. I was just curious.

Thanks for bothering.

Daria

Dean Grey said...

Daria!

What are the odds?

Maybe you're a long lost cousin or aunt I never knew about! LOL

Haven't been to Vancouver either but I'd like to go.

Thanks for chiming in on this post!

-Dean

stanw said...

I don't know why I am so drawn to the things you have experienced but I am. When it comes to dads there is something that happens when they don't get involved in our lives in a kind, loving and intimate way. It leaves a void that we try to fill and sometimes leads to a long-term quest.
I pray for healing in your heart. I am so glad you know the Lord; for me it has been a life saving experience so often.

Dean Grey said...

I appreciate your prayers and the kind comment, Stan!

You're right, it does leave a void that I'm not sure can ever really be filled....at least not right away.

Thanks again!

-Dean

Bill C. said...

I've never been able to fill the void, and my father is still alive. The first 19 years of my life, he called me stupid and told me I was as useless as tits on a boy. Really good for the self-image, wouldn't you say?

Dean Grey said...

Bill!

I'm sorry to hear things were so rough with your father while growing up.

I think adulthood is about rising above all the shit we put up with as children. Easier said than done, I know.

-Dean

~BB~ said...

thanks for sharing. This post has a very poignant feel to it - it's so beautiful but with an air of tradegy...

Dean Grey said...

~BB~!

I appreciate your thoughts on this post!

-Dean

Dean Scott said...

Brings back memories of my dad. We were cordial but distant most of my life. We connected the last few years before he died. I inherited his work papers. They filled in a lot of the blanks. He was a hard person to know. In the end I realized that he loved me the best he knew how.

Dean Grey said...

Dean!

I never had that kind of closure with my dad but I'm glad you were able to in some way with yours.

-Dean